oday marks my first day as an expert. I must admit, it’s all very new and sudden, and I’m still trying to take it in. I have a lot of questions about my new role. Do I need to update my wardrobe? Is it expert-ly of me, for instance, to carry on writing in my Old Navy red penguin pajamas? That would be red pajamas with penguins; I don’t think there are red penguins. But I don't know. In fact, there is a lot that I feel I don’t know. Take death and taxes. Why are there only the two. Aren’t really ominous things supposed to come in threes? Surely an expert would assert as much.

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