Glasses.

Ugh!

Has there ever been a more infuriating, infernal invention for children? Supposedly they need them for school, can't see a thing without them. So are they merely drawn to the brightly-colored blurry blobs on the television screen? I guess so because they will spend hours "watching" sans glasses.

The biggest pain is that without wearing them, they can't see them. My four-year-old — for whom glasses are the only side effect of being 13 weeks premature — can't see them lying on the floor in the hallway, so of course he can't pick them up. I'm not likely to see them either. Do you see the problem?

My 11-year-old, who for some bizarre reason couldn't wait to get them, can't see them lying around her bedroom — at eye level for my two-year-old. He, of course, can't see any reason not to pick them up, try them on, and sculpt them into strange, fascinating new shapes.

Our family optometrist is seeing green these days. A lot of green. My green. Which is making me see red!

Continued...